But, seriously. Some days I feel like I’m on top of the world, and then others I feel like I’m second best. The ugly apple… or that one funky cupcake in the bunch that no one wants.
I think the only reason I feel this way is because it took a lot to decide to move on and now that I am it’s like closing a door. BUT there are a lot of new suitors now and I don’t think they understand that I don’t want to be wooed. I’m not interested in having a relationship.
I will gladly go on a date or two with someone but I seriously am not ready for any kind of commitment yet.
Or maybe I’m just picky? I always have been. It seriously takes one hell of a man to pique my interest. It just feels like there aren’t any men around any more. I just want my “mourning” period to be over. I want to be done with it and heal my aching, empty heart already.
It seems like the only thing I’ve ever been missing in life is that one person to call my own. My previous boyfriend never really gave me much attention to me until I left (sad, but I suppose he learned his lesson). So, I think it’s pretty reasonable to want it so soon after getting out of a relationship.
Back to the topic, though: Mine. Only mine. I’m very possessive. Probably to the degree where it’s creepy, but that’s just how I show love. What’s mine is mine and I don’t share, and I think that’s perfectly justifiable.
I know I’m not ready… not by a long shot, but I want it to be filled with love. I want to have someone who will hold me and never want to let me go. I want that crazy, stupid love that makes your heart ache every time you look at the other person. That kind of need that makes you feel like that other person is a part of you; two parts of one whole that can never be put back together, but still find solace in the other. The kind of romance that brings tears to your eyes.
Beautiful and painful at the same time.
I want to be so happy that it makes me cry, because my heart is too full to hold back the tears. Is that too girly? If it is, I don’t care. I’d like a taste of that once in my life.